28 10 2010

As I get older I daily realize the value in relationships with others, particularly men, and even more specifically, brothers in Christ.  The bottom line is that I’ve learned over the years that men need one another in relationship.  I am my wife’s best friend, there is no doubt in my mind.  I am in love with her.  But friendships with men are critical to our God-given existence.  I am of the opinion it is extremely difficult to have a close relationship with the opposite sex outside of my spouse.  I could dialogue on this for many paragraphs and some may disagree with me.  If you are married and in love with your spouse, I see very little good that can come out of a “stand alone” friendship with the opposite sex.  That isn’t to say both my wife and I don’t have wonderful friendships with the opposite sex, but they come in the form of the spouse of a friend of the same-sex in every relationship of ours I can think of.  My wife isn’t calling a “guy” friend and setting up time to meet and have fun – seriously, what good could come of that when one is married?  I care greatly for many of my closest friends spouses, and am usually encouraged by their marriages and love for one another – that naturally shapes those relationships we have in our life together – my wife and I, that is.  But this post is to write about my life with men.  Last night at corporate prayer at our church, the men and women broke out for prayer separately – this has a different God-given feel to it for whatever the reason but, wow, when men can pray for one another and share how the gospel is moving in their lives, I can think of fewer more intimate moments with Christ.  I vividly recall many years ago, before marriage, having an awesome small men’s group with guys I’m close with to this day – it was intimate, humbling, and vulnerable – on occasion we shared the Lord’s supper together lead by the pastor in the group – of which he still serves the Lord in occupation to this day – and does it tremendously well.  More recently my friendships are more purposeful, attempting to avoid (well, not completely!) small talk about my beloved Montreal Canadiens or hockey in general, as an example, but focusing on meaningful dialogue and getting closer to the core of our “man” hearts.  Men reading this, if you aren’t in community with other men and brothers, I encourage you to do so.  Recently I heard that “time is made” – make time for your friends!  It’s tough to do in the hustle and bustle of the work world and family commitments – but I can share I usually don’t regret when time is made for the friends I often don’t seem to have time available for.  I’ll even make the statement that friendship in the right way delights our Creator as He intended.  Stay in His wakes!




2 responses

1 11 2010

Hey Dunc,

Couldn’t remember if I’d ever commented on here before, so I just wanted to say thanks for writing, I love reading your thoughts, and keep up the good work! 🙂


10 03 2011
Murray Robinson

I could not agree with you more


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